A journalist observes life in the far north.
Thanks for listening to me vent yesterday. It was a tough morning. Today is better. Lucky, unprompted, cleared the breakfast table. I’m proud. She’s trying really hard to be good today.
Since I’m in a better state of mind, I thought I’d make a list of the funny things I have found myself saying to my child.
10) We don’t body slam the dog.
9) Sure, you can play in the snow with no shoes but you’re not going to like it.
8)) You don’t have to stick your hand down there when you pee. You don’t have a penis.
7) No, I don’t think popcorn would make a good dinner.
6) There’s no more baby in my belly, honey. That’s tummy fat.
5) I can pick my own nose. I don’t need you help.
4) If you want to put pepper on your ice cream, who am I to judge?
3) I’m afraid it’s not appropriate to wear night-night clothes to the store.
2) Brushing the top of the trash can with your toothbrush is yucky.
1) Get that pillow off of your brother. Are you trying to snuff him out?